If there are three things Tall, my gentle giant, loves, they are food, being included, and terrorizing villagers for sport. When he found out I would be doing restaurant reviews as part of this blog, and that he could help, he was onboard. He was upset when he found out we wouldn’t be stomping on any thatch roof cottages, but you can’t have everything.
We headed down 17th Avenue one Saturday afternoon, after deciding we would eat somewhere based solely on its outward appearance. We noticed how many shitty facades line 17th. There were places with their windows covered in brown paper, buildings with signs that hadn’t changed since 1952 in the worst way possible, and just a bunch of ugly restaurants. Tall kept admiring the wrong buildings. He pointed and said “That would make a nice restaurant.
“Tall, that’s a bank.”
“I know. I’m just saying, it would make a nice restaurant if it wasn’t a bank.
Eventually we saw 1410 World Bier Haus.
Not a bank
It fit our ascetic standards, so Tall charged across the busy road, glaring at cars like the Incredible Hulk. Brakes squealed in horror, and I waived my apologies at the terrified grandmother as I followed behind him.
1410 had a line at the door. It was supper on Saturday, and there was a playoff hockey game on T.V., so the place was packed. Tall wasn’t waiting for food. He tried to scare the villagers, but Canadians care more about hockey than hungry monsters, so we started to backtrack. Then we saw Morgan’s Pub.
This guy danced for us
We headed in, and even though there were big screens on every wall, facing each seat, broadcasting the Canuck’s game, the place was half empty. There was a stage for live music, but the radio was playing. Tall noticed the music was great. It was all classic rock or hard alternative, but never so heavy that it would alienate people who weren’t fans of the genre.
The only problem was the ceiling:
What is that and what does it want?
Look at that. What is it? I’m sure it’s not a problem, because there’s no way a health inspector could miss it. It just looks terrible and dirty. Tall went red in the face because he was afraid to breathe. It was seriously disconcerting, and we both kept noticing it.
Our waitress came, and my initial read on her was she was used to being one of the boys. You know, that cool chick who drinks beer and never orders just a salad, and plays video games and talks smack, and you almost forget she’s a girl when you’re not looking at her. On top of that, she was friendly in a brash sort of way that I think exudes confidence. Tall didn’t take such a liking to her. She was a couple of years older than us, and while she was in good shape, she also had an asymmetrical haircut, really short camo shorts, and Ugg boots. He thought she was trying too hard to act younger than she was.
I really don’t care why a girl is wearing short shorts and boots, as long as they wear them.
I started with a vodka coke and chicken spinach dip.
Brilliant!
Honestly, I don’t know why I never thought to add finely chopped chicken to spinach dip. It was tender and delicious. It made a good thing better and more filling than usual.
Tall felt that a restaurant can be judged by their steaks, as a cooked slab of beef on an open flame is the highest cooking art in Alberta. So we both tried it. I won’t be making that mistake again. The cut was weak and it was pretty bland and chewy. Tall’s was undercooked. It wasn’t inedible, just very disappointing.
Looks good, but once it's in your mouth, you'll be sorry.
Then the bill came and turned everything around. We paid next to nothing for our food, drinks, and appies. The bill showed the truth of Morgan’s Pub. It’s a place to go and hang out for hours. Seriously, I don’t think I’ve found a pub downtown where I could afford to do that until Morgan’s.
I’ve decided that while as a restaurant, the steak leaves them with 4 stars, they score 4.5 as a bar, because if I had considered them as such, I would have just had the delicious appetizer, and only the ceiling would have bugged me.
Tall is less forgiving than me, and awards only 3 stars.
**********************************
Star Breakdown:
Joey As Restaurant:
Drink Star
Price Star
Staff Star
½ Food Star
½ Atmosphere Star
Joey as Bar:
Drink Star
Price Star
Staff Star
Food Star
½ Atmosphere Star
Tall
Drink Star
Price Star
Food Star
Black Book Project 